Tongan women: Looking for female empowerment and models of feminism? Miss Heilala is the last place you should be searching.

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Like most young Tongan women, I grew up being totally enamoured with the Miss Heilala Pageant back in the motherland. Tucked away in a childhood photo album is a photograph of my sister and myself during the 2005 Miss Heilala Pageant season in Tonga hosting an excruciatingly homemade version of the pageant with me wearing my mother’s lipstick and a random ta’ovala¹ that was left pressed underneath a mattress, pretending I was that year’s Miss Heilala. The novelty has worn off, especially in light of recent events.

For those that are unfamiliar with this topic of discussion, here is a bit of context: 
  • The Miss Heilala pageant is an annual beauty pageant hosted in Tonga. It was first organised in 1980 by the Ministry of Tourism and the Tonga Tourist Association to celebrate the birthday of the late King Taufa’ahau Tupou IV. 
  • On the final evening of this year’s pageant, chaos ensued when the outgoing winner, Kalo Funganitao, had her microphone cut in the middle of her speech where she exposed the bullying and backstabbing she endured during her tenure. Additionally, Miss South Pacific was racially abused by the audience during her speech. 
  • There have been contrasting criticisms of this pageant with women’s rights activists declaring that the pageant industry should be completely discarded because of its objectification of women, and from some Tongan women denouncing Kalo’s public confrontation claiming that she lacked dignity and misrepresented the ‘ideal image’ of a Tongan woman - the Miss Heilala. 
Miss Heilala Pageant 2019 | Guardian Australia

This pageant might have only prevented a woman to speak about bullying, but what about if she dared to publicly speak out against nepotism? Sexism in the workplace? Domestic and family violence? Sexual assault and rape? Simply put, if a platform such as the Miss Heilala pageant is the “wrong place, wrong time”, where and when are Tongan women allowed to express themselves like our male counterparts? 

This pageant only seems to serve and perpetuate rigid archaic expectations of Tongan women. While young girls sit and fawn over each Miss gracing the stage with their teunga tau’olunga², adults are checking if the Miss’ oil is dried or not³. It is interesting how as a Tongan woman you can possess all sorts of credentials, be well-travelled and cultured, but your worth will still be measured by your virtue and ‘virginity’. 

An Instagram post from Miss Heilala 2010, Mafi Taumoepeau, disclosed her personal irritation with this year’s contestants, claiming that they “do not appear to have the values” that Tongan culture supposedly celebrates. These values that Taumoepeau is referring to is basically the notion that we Tongan women should 'only speak when necessary',  to 'know our place' (Any guesses as to where she's alluding to?).  She acknowledges that Tongan culture is, like most cultures, inherently patriarchal, BUT, we are different in the sense that women are held in high regard in certain instances. How nice! Yes, fellow ta’ahine Tonga, while we may never be able to own land under our own name in Tonga, and we may not be allowed to participate & compete in sports like football because it's not 'feminine', but at least we get to name our brother’s children!⁴ It appears that many Tongans still have not realised that we are only being listened to in that particular situation because we are the sister of a man, a daughter of a man - not because we are our own person? If you think this is the epitome of gender equality and inclusion, you can absolutely count me out. 

But for me, that is not even the most significant issue. Taumoepeau uses our Tongan culture to try to justify her belief that Tongan women must be careful of what we say, that we must behave ourselves in contexts such as these, which is completely unfair, and frankly, a poor excuse to silence other women. Recognising that our nation has a history of silencing and undermining the voices of women is a step in the right direction. It is fruitless to discuss that this is how our culture has, was and apparently always will be. Is there really no point for us to try and improve ourselves? Unpack the misogyny that we have internalised? Decolonise the way that we have been conditioned to think and treat others? It is evident that some folks have forgotten that culture does not make people, people make culture. What Taumoepeau and her fellow 'pick-me' supporters fail to understand is that culture is constantly changing, it is fluid and often it has a history of only benefiting some people while neglecting others. Acknowledging and understanding this provides us with an opportunity to progress as a nation that is more respectful and inclusive. 

It is interesting that Taumoepeau said that “a Tongan woman is known to have a way with her words”,  that our words ought to be gentle and tranquil, but also stern and need not be disruptive. As we all know, this is a dig at Funganitao’s farewell address, an eloquently-written speech exposing her experiences of severe bullying in the pageant, and imploring for structural change. Is everything a Tongan woman discusses then that isn’t lukewarm, neutral, or appeases the Tongan elite - disruptive? For a nation that has increasingly high levels of corruption, disapproving of women that dare speak up against Tonga’s patriarchal status quo should be lower in the list of our nation's priorities. 

All the women in the history of the Miss Heilala pageant are undoubtedly beautiful, talented, and intelligent women. Why must we limit ourselves because of how men see women? Or how Christian missionaries viewed women? One woman's idea of how Tongan women ought to behave does not mean we must all then follow suit. Disrespecting other women because they do not represent or follow your own rigid ideals is doing our female ancestors a great disservice. We have the privilege to do and be so much more than they could have ever imagined. Let us not lose sight of that over a dispute on when and where people think we Tongan women are allowed to exist. 
 

Footnotes
¹ A traditional woven mat worn around a person's waist. 
² Teunga tau'olunga - the attire worn for the traditional Tongan dance (tau'olunga)
³ Traditionally, only 'virgins', girls that are 'pure' are to dance the tau'olunga. If the oil that is applied on the girl appears dry, that is supposed to mean she is not a 'virgin' and is demonised for not being 'pure'. 
⁴ Men's sisters have the responsibility of naming his children. 

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